How To Finally Make A Decision! Should Heart Or Logic Be Your Guide?
This debate is centuries old, is it not? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard well-intentioned people tell me to think logically, which is seemingly sound advice! Oh yes, logic – my old pal – been keeping me “safe” for years now. I do consult logic frequently, causing many debates in my mind each day. I have to admit that when it comes to important things, however, I put my heart first. Don’t judge me just yet on this character trait of mine! I’m thinking you’ll desire this heart-first approach with me after I share why it works. I firmly believe that logic/head/mind/brain has to be in the mix as well, keeping us out of perpetual disaster. I’m not completely crazy, just enough to paint outside the lines and create something abstract and beautiful.
Mr. Logic
Let’s Get Objective
Logic is necessary for life. Without it, we’d all be making haphazard decisions with no regard for the consequences of such. He is very practical, Mr. Logic. I have made plenty of decisions without fully checking in with logic. Staying up until 5 in the morning seems great until you’re at work at 8 AM with only two hours of sleep! I have categorically made decisions that are illogical and paid the cost of such time and time again. Mr. Logic is always around, we just don’t always listen. Learning when and why to listen is one of your decision-making keys.
Logic is described by Cambridge Dictionary as “A particular way of thinking, especially one that is reasonable and based on good judgment.” Ah, that doesn’t sound so bad I suppose! Being reasonable is commendable even, and it has its time and place. Workplace logic makes sense to me, it’s very black and white. As a pharmacist working in a health center, I know that wearing gloves while administering a vaccine will keep me and the patient safer than if I don’t wear gloves. That is logical reasoning, with evidence even to support that decision. What if we dive a bit deeper into being reasonable though, let’s get personal.
Let’s Get Personal
Understanding logic can get trickier when we’re talking about something more personal and less objective. When I was trying to decide if I should essentially quit high school and home school myself in an attempt to create some major life path changes, I faced this challenge. I would keep asking myself if am I being reasonable. Can I do this and not mess up everything majorly? I had to really see my future and end goal in sight to be able to see any logic in it. At a certain point, I realized that what is reasonable to me can be different than what is reasonable to other people. I was so passionate about the path I was creating, there was no stopping me. Logic might as well have been locked in a safe!
Or what if you want to try going back to college and have always had your heart set on getting into medical school. But at home, you have two little ones and a spouse that works non-stop. Is it logical to follow your medical school dream or not to, since it would take a lot of effort and sacrifice to make med school a reality?
Your decisions have the potential to make other people uncomfortable as well as yourself. Do you stay comfortable as is, or get uncomfortable to be able to live the life you feel in your soul that you’re called to live? Sometimes (always!) living the life we’re called to forces us to get outside of our comfort zones now to be more comfortable in our own skin later. Change tends to make people uneasy for a period of time. I don’t think that should make you ignore a calling from within you, ever. Often every ounce of logic tells me one thing, oh but my heart! My heart tells me the opposite, and I tend to listen intently to her when she won’t leave me alone. This is the intuitive mind speaking, and it is a gift if only we’ll listen. It’s an intuition, another key in decision making.
Ms. Heart
Passion & Purpose
This brings us over to Ms. heart, pounding away in the corner, awaiting desperately to be able to speak life into you. Ms. heart will make you question all that you know to be true and you’ll barely be able to hear Mr. Logic over the loud thumping of her. Remember the song Heart and Soul? Does anyone even know this song anymore or am I just aging myself here? Anyway, I always remember it when thinking of heart-based decisions because heart and soul (and you) are in unison here.
There’s a difference between following a feeling and following your heart, and I think that’s where some people run into trouble. Most of us have that one friend that is continuously “following their heart” and encouraging everyone else to do the same, sometimes much to their detriment! A feeling is fleeting, comes and goes, holds no actual substance in your soul. When I refer to “heart” on the other hand, I am talking about that voice deep down in your inner-being that tells you this is something you have to do to fulfill a portion of you. This is when a decision is out of a place of passion and purpose. It’s a knowing, and sometimes despite traditional logic. That’s right, we don’t always need to listen to logic.
It’s All About That Risk
I love Mr. Logic, I really do! As I said, he has kept me safe time and time again. Do you want to live a “safe” life though, or your truth? I’m not saying you can’t have both, rather that sometimes you will pick safety and familiarity over your salvation and truth. While I do want logic in my life, I also long to and must, follow my soul.
Should I just be sitting down letting life flow by, following these rules that other people have set in place for me? What if these pre-made rules for how life or family or career should look aren’t how I imagine my own life? My journey can’t be dictated by someone else, they aren’t aware of my mind and my callings. Just as nobody outside of you can know your unique truth needing to be lived out. Don’t stay sitting in your chair simply because it’s uncomfortable to stand up and live.
Sometimes I view Mr. Logic like I do the well-intentioned opinions and advice I receive from others. It is something to be taken with a grain of salt. While others may want what they think is best for me, that doesn’t mean they want what I need for my life in order to feel complete. Logic wants to follow the script of what society and a prescribed list of rights and wrongs says I should do. Logic wants me to stay in bounds, not to paint outside the lines, and to simply keep everyone else comfortable with my decisions.
Stand Up
It turns out that I find much of my joy lies on the other side of these imaginary lines. To discover the path that is best for your life, sometimes you need to go where you didn’t think you could. It’s where logic is defied. That’s where you imagine and create new ways of doing and being, become a change-maker, and soar to new heights. If you think of someone amazing that has accomplished something great, they were likely not following all of the norms. They thought bigger, dreamed bigger, envisioned more, and did more to create that greatness. MLK, Emily Dickinson, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Vincent Van Gogh, Maya Angelou, and so many others made bold moves and decided not to follow the crowd. The risk of uncertainty and the unknown is vast, but so is the potential reward.
Let me take you through a few steps in how I journey through this Heart-based decision-making process. Don’t fret, I’ll also include some logic/brain/mind – based criteria for good measure!
Heart-y Decisions
1.) Overthinking often gets the best of me
Thinking things through is valuable, overthinking things to the point of anxiety/despair is not! Weighing the risk vs reward for a particular situation is worth analyzing. It is not worth it to lose sleep and feel lost or uncertain in life due to trying to read between lines that don’t even exist. Mr. Logic can creep in so heavily on that dream of yours and cause chaos! He’ll have a million reasons why it won’t work out. Sit in quiet and allow it to just be and feel where your mind goes, let it go there. Fight the urge to change and alter it.
When I’m faced with a decision, I like to do a quick response first from that place within me that longs to be heard. Your quick-response is your heart-response. This is when I need that quiet time with myself, for me that’s through meditation. When you get quiet and still, your mind gets clearer and you are better able to see, this is often when those “aha moments” happen.
Then I can process it more extensively with the pros and cons list. To help prevent overthinking, keep this list to a low number. Pick a number and try to stick to it. If you set your number at 5, pick your top 5 in each category and call-it-a-day! This helps prevent over-analyzing, and also keeps Mr. Logic at bay (We want him near, just not breathing down our necks). There, you’ve let heart start your decision-making process, and still invited Mr. Logic to have some say in the matter. Happy?
2.) Under Pressure
Hopefully, you’re hearing the song Under Pressure in your mind right now, and if you’re not, I’m sorry that you’re not quite as hip as I am. I know I just told you not to overthink too much, and to listen to what that initial voice is telling you when making a decision. BUT, I have to provide some critical flip-side info on that! While we don’t want to overthink, we also don’t want to make half-hearted, impulse-based decisions.
I almost hate when I, or anyone else, get referred to as an over-thinker. I mean yes, I like to think a lot. This is not a negative trait, as long as you’re not catapulting into anxiety and despair as I talked about above. We could use more thinkers around here! Thinking deeply leads to important decisions being made, creativity, imagining a new future. Please don’t stop thinking intently.
Making a rash decision quickly without thinking it through to any extent can often cause ruin! Say you’re having a rough day feeling under-appreciated at work and someone asks you to go have a drink after work and blow off that important meeting later determining your promotion. You may be tempted to do such, what does it matter after the day I’ve had anyway? That is a prime example of making an impulsive, emotion-based decision. Those are not usually beneficial to you in any way. Remember, a rash decision can cause ruin.
3.) Intuition
Have you ever felt like you just know something that’s going to happen? I find that the lines can sometimes blur between intuition and following your heart. Think of your intuition almost as an extra sense right now. A good example of this is when you have an intuition that your partner is cheating on you. You can sense that something is off, even if you can’t pinpoint what it is exactly. Your intuition needs your attention to work.
Zoning in on your intuition can take some fine-tuning but is so worth it. Pay attention to that gut feeling you get about a decision. If your body and mind are rejecting an idea, your intuition is trying to tell you something important. Even though logic may be telling you to do the logical thing, that doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you. And often, your intuition is one of the first things to clue you into this “off” feeling about it. For a few pointers on how to tune into your intuition, you can check out a couple of articles I wrote on intuition and synchronicities-http://positivelyzen.com/2018/09/26/find-follow-intuition-5-tips/
http://positivelyzen.com/2019/11/13/cultivating-coincidence-tuning-into-more-than-just-chance/
4.) Logic – Why & When
You may be wondering, so how do I know when TO listen to Mr. Logic, Han?! Learning why and when to listen to logic is simple, at least in theory. Lean into logic when a decision you’re making doesn’t align with your core values. We all have certain values that we keep that are important to us. For some, it may be honesty, faith, work ethic, not harming others, love, all the things we hold near to us that help shape who we are.
If you’re not sure which core values are important to you, make a list of what you think they may be or what you want them to be. Then go through the list and write a reason why each means something to you next to it and if you want that to be a part of what makes you, you. Core values help determine our character and integrity, so don’t be afraid to go all-in here. It’s never too late to edit our list of core values and to continue the process at any point in life as needed. This will help you determine more readily when Mr. Logic is needed. When a decision doesn’t match up with one of your core values, take some time to reassess and determine if you need to edit your decision in any way.
5.) Action
I’ve found that the scariest thing about making a decision can be actually following through with what you decide on. And that, friends, is simply still being in a place of indecision and uncertainty. If you’ve gone through the steps of determining which decision you believe is best for you, it’s time to make a move! Action dissolves anxiety.
Feeling overwhelmed and anxious about making a change at work but know that it will benefit you after going through the decision making process? Just do it, like Nike and what not. Once you start moving towards your decisions and goals, the big scary barriers start shrinking. What was once consuming your thoughts with fear will become small rocks instead of big boulders. Suddenly things start seeming more attainable when you start taking those action steps forward. Being consistent in making some progress each day or each week even will lead you into transformation.
“You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.”
Abraham Maslow
I hope these tips help you refine your decision-making process! Know that the right decision for you, will not come from outside of you. As always, feel free to email me at hannahallison@positivelyzen.com with any questions or concerns!
