Force vs Flow

Stop Forcing Life and Go With The Flow



Are you riding the wave of life or swimming against the surf? Do you let things that are meant for you naturally come into your life, or are you putting up reefs everywhere blocking the flow? There’s a better way of living that is much more enjoyable, a shift to allowing life rather than forcing it. It’s time to focus on being rather than doing. The problem with doing is when we lose our true selves and intentions in the process. When we don’t have time to simply be and allow, no amount of doing can get us where we long to be.

Do You Know How To Be?

Allowing life to flow effortlessly happens best when we have time to just be more frequently. I’m not talking about sitting around all day doing nothing, don’t get carried away here! When I talk about being, I’m referring to being free and present in more moments. It may be as simple as not being glued to your phone in a park, which allows you to see something beautiful in nature that stirs your soul.

I want you to be available to receive signals that you need to see, to walk through those open doors you’ll otherwise be too busy to notice. When you’re being, you’re open to allowing all that is meant for you to happen in any given moment. Whether it’s being present to get that book recommendation that impacts your life; or open to a conversation that leads you to a new relationship or career opportunity. If you’re too busy, you’ll miss opportunities. Don’t ignore what could be amazing for doing the mundane.

-Start with 10-minute increments-

It often seems overwhelming to all of a sudden stop being glued to electronics, activities, and to-do lists, so start small. Focus on going 10 minutes with being fully present in wherever and whatever you’re doing. Use these increments to connect with people you’re with, focus on work, or practice self-care like meditation or exercise, or even to connect with friends/family on social media. Then you can increase these increments throughout the day, as you notice how you’re allowing life to flow. Let yourself breathe, notice your surroundings and connect.

Don’t Force It

Do you ever feel like you’re trying to force something in life, but it’s just not happening how you’d like? It almost feels like it’s not meant to happen, at least not at this moment. Last year my 5-year-old took piano lessons. Let me tell you, THIS I tried to force, but it wasn’t the right fit at the right time. You see, she isn’t exactly the “sit-still” and follow directions type of gal! Music is so important to me, I love playing instruments (I play 3!) and singing. Homegirl though, it might just be too soon for her, or maybe it’s not for her at all. While she loves music, these lessons were torture for her and me, oh and her teacher! I realized I was forcing something that should be a no for now, maybe not for always, but for now.

-Let some things be a no for now-

It’s ok to take a step back and reevaluate different aspects of your life and let some things be a no for now. When you stop forcing things and learn to get into the flow of life, it’s beautiful and easy to live in each moment given. What are you forcing in your own life that if given up would make you happier? Sometimes we overschedule ourselves or our kids unnecessarily, take on too many extra responsibilities at work, keep going in an unhappy relationship, all out of a feeling of obligation. Don’t over obligate yourself and just do things because you feel like you “should”. This is your life, and you deserve to be happy!

You are in charge of your yes’s-

You decide your commitments, who you’re spending time with, you are ultimately in charge of your schedule. When your daily experiences are turning into “have to’s” is when I feel that a shift from doing to being is already overdue. If you “have to” go to the gym, and “have to” take your kids all over town and “have to” meet your friends for dinner, then where is the joy in your life? Turn your “have to’s” into “I choose to” or “I am” or “I get to”. This simple change can bring your mindset to a more positive place. It also helps you realize what you’re choosing to do with your time and life.

Carefully select what you’re saying yes to, and obligating yourself to. Sometimes it’s easy choosing who or what to say yes to, it’s effortless and natural. There’s nothing wrong with taking the time to evaluate your next move though. When you say yes to someone else, sometimes that means saying no to yourself. If you can’t picture your life without someone or something, say yes! If it’s just another task on your to-do list, reevaluate.

Go On And Get In That Flow Now

I hope you use these simple strategies get into the flow of life, and find where you can serve best! You can give more of yourself by BEing rather than DOing. Rid yourself of attachments, obligations, and expectations that are stealing your life and joy. Shift into being aware and allowing. When you’re doing what you’re meant to do, you will be happy, even if it’s hard, you will feel fulfilled. As always, feel free to email me at with any questions or concerns! Cheers to a zen mind and life!